Portia’s Island

Yugs, wala nagsaka tinapay ko… I really do not know why it didn’t rise this time. The yeast seemed ok  (very bubbly when I added it), the room temperature was more than adequate, and I did everything the way I usually do: first sift the flour, added the yeast, a bit of water, mix, more water, mix, then wheat germ, then salt, then baking powder, and then olive oil, and then mix some more.

Oh well, life’s like that. You do everything by the book, but sometimes, it doesn’t turn out quite the way it was supposed to be.  What else can we do, kungdi kaonon na lang giyapon. Sige lang nga wala nagsaka, tinapay ko man na gihapon. Haayyyy….

Pastilan, dili diay lalim aning biking.  Today, we went 26 km south to Malatapay market,and it seemed to me it was the hardest thing I had to endure since I gave birth to Orrin almost 8 months ago.  Maybe it was the slight congestion I was having, but mostly it was because my sorry ass, out of condition body was just not ready to tackle something that required endurance. Two years ago, this would have been no problem, because I was active, and always hiking. But after being almost sedentary for a year, this was really hard. 

It is so not fair. My husband, who smokes about 5 sticks a day,and weighs about twice as me (hence the higher wind resistance) was not even near exhaustion.  We have been biking off-road around Dumaguete since last week in preparation for field work, and he felt I was ready to tackle 25 km of almost flat terrain.  Almost flat ka da. The smallest incline felt like a huge hill. My bike had good gears, so it was not that difficult really. The route was simply long, and it was me that was out of condition.

So when we reached Malatapay and delivered the letter I was sending to Selinog, I swallowed my pride and said I was taking the jeep back.  Indi na ni ya kaya ng powers ko.  5 km under the hot sun is ok, but 25 km is just too much.

Not that this will stop me from getting on the bike. It is the exercise I enjoy the most next to dancing (it is an exercise, no matter what others might say).  Only that next time, I will take it easy. Aim for 15 km next time,and then 20, and then 25. So maybe next month, I will not have to swallow my pride and load the bike on top of the jeep when we have reached Siaton, which is further away.

     This Sunday, something really wonderful happened when I opened my Inbox folder. A letter that started with "I am happy to advise you that your application grant has been approved" was waiting for me. For about 10 milliseconds, I felt like on top of the world… people who have won the lottery or reached the peak ok a mountain would know how I felt.  The world stopped turning for a brief moment as I screamed by lungs out, running out of the room towards my husband who was in the yard, doing his usual bonsai things.  Oh my God! Thank you soooo much! It took me a while to explain to him what the good news was exactly, because i was crying and laughing at the same time, but he got it immediately. This was what we have been waiting for.

     I had to read the letter again just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, and it was really there.  But it was only when I printed it out and held it in my hand did I really really truly believe that I really got the grant. The universe’s answer to my prayer.  I guess the guy up there wants me to become a marine biologist after all, and not jus a dakilang domestic goddess. 

     After a few moments, it dawned on me that getting the grant was a big responsibility. There are things to be done, people to meet, a deadline to meet, a project to finish. And there is my thesis also (that I can now really finish, because there is now money for me to do the work), and it would mean a lot of work for the next 12 months. 

     But everything will work out fine, because I have the support of my family. Getting the grant was a big blessing, and I am really grateful– but I never forget also that the biggest blessing I have been given is my little guy with the biggest round eyes. And my family, who have supported me through thick and thin, through all my successess and fuck-ups. 

     With His blessings, everything will turn out OK. And if I work my ass off for it, hoepfully, by 2008, I will finally be able to wear the toga and the funny hat (as my hubby calls it) and go up the stage and receive my degree on Graduation Day. It’s still a long way off, and it will be a hard, tough climb, but we will get there eventually. Selinog Island, here we come!